So I was just trying to go back to read something I wrote four years ago -- it was written in a similar way that Empty has been -- because both are focused on my mental illnesses. When I started Empty, I wrote it almost exclusively while I was having a mental breakdown. There's always been a lot of editing when I was writing like that, but it produced the best results. The story was born during a mild panic attack after a binge/purge episode, so there's that. With my other one, it was about cutting. I wrote it all the time when I was triggered, and it helped me cope a lot, but the story was so disorganized and the plot was just a mess -- writing while in an altered state can change the stories completely. With my self injury one, I found myself not being able to make sense of my plot arcs anymore, I lost control of the story and it exploded into a very scattered thing.
There were a lot of people who really loved it, though, and sometimes the story still gets people who find it, and they contact me asking to finish. I just can't even really convince myself to reread it. I know it's not absolutely horrible, but it's going to be so disorganized and I'll probably be extremely triggered while reading it which may throw off my ability to handle the world.
I have been, on another note, writing like a mad person. I've written most of the next chapter for Empty, plotted out the final chapter and the epilogue. (I decided to give an epilogue so maybe people wouldn't hate me for my love of cliffhangers.) I have written about half of a second installment of 33% which is going to be a short little three shot, or mini fic -- I haven't figured out how long it'll take for me to get where I'm going.
I have been roleplaying a lot which is keeping my juices flowing, and even though I'm working full time and trying to have some form of a social life, I've been doing really well with continuing to write things.
Things in the works for long term projects:
Life In Theater -- A fic focusing on Zexion who is a bookworm with a taste for confusing reality and his fiction. He finds himself under the focus of Demxy and Axel one day while working on the lights in the campus auditorium, the pair has the lead male roles in the latest production, and they want to involve Zexion in something more inclusive than staring out from behind a board filled with dials and knobs. Pairings have not yet been deteremined. (That's a lie, I just can't find my notes where they are figured out, and I can't remember because I've been so on the fence with the pairing.)
Rewrite -- This one concentrates upon Demyx who has a habit of picking up 'strays' as he calls them fondly, people down on their luck, on the street to crash in his apartment in a while until they can get back onto their feet with a job or a shelter that can help them. He stumbles upon Zexion one day who seems to have been through something recently which has shocked him into a demure state. This story focuses on drug use, sexual assault, and recovery.
On another note, I should warn everyone that I've been experimenting with non-normative relationships, relationship ideals, and things related to those two.
I might also try to do some more stuff focused on cutting or eating related issues if anyone is interested in that sort of thing. Just let me know, I have a lot of ideas but I always love suggestions as well.
Listening to: Bjork
Reading: American Gods by Neil Gaiman
Watching: Supernatural Season One